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Thread: Does your pap sleep in your bed?

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    Member Bclaytonsc's Avatar
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    Does your pap sleep in your bed?

    I shamelessly admit that Abby has slept in my bed almost every night for the last 6 years (once she was just under 2 years old and out of the puppy stage, I started allowing it. Before that she was crated at night). I know there are so many people who have issues with dogs sleeping in the bed with you but it's never caused a problem for us. It's comforting to me to have her in the bed with me and she always gets so excited about bed time! She curls up next to my torso every night.

    I'm just curious as to the different opinions on this topic. Do your paps ever sleep in your bed with you? If not, are they crated at night?

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    Site Owner Ivvy's Avatar
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    Re: Does your pap sleep in your bed?

    I currently have 4 Papillons in my home. 3 are permanent, 1 is a foster and one of my permanents is a puppy. I let both of my adult paps sleep in my bed sometimes they weasle their way onto our pillow even. When the puppy is old enough we'll let her sleep overnight. She's allowed on during the day but we crate her at night. We also crate the foster to prepare him for his new home and to get him crate trained.

    I don't think it's weird at all to let your dog sleep in your bed?
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    Member Bclaytonsc's Avatar
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    Re: Does your pap sleep in your bed?

    The only reason I ask is that back when Abby was just under a year old we completed a 6 week obedience program and one day, somehow the topic of dogs sleeping in your bed came up. The assistant trainer was completely against dogs sleeping in your bed, and said it could cause aggression in dogs because they begin to lose respect for their owner. He basically thought that allowing a dog to sleep in the bed with you would lead to dominance issues. While I disagree with this, he's not the only person I've met that thinks that way! Interesting, eh? I've never had an issue with Abby or any other dogs that I have had sleeping in my bed with me.

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    Senior Member Avec Bravissimo's Avatar
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    Re: Does your pap sleep in your bed?

    I don't generally let my dogs sleep in my bed. I have done it for the same reason the trainer gave you....and the hair! BUT......

    I think if you train your dog to get off the bed at your request - and only allow him up by invitation - it won't be a problem. And some dogs will never have dominance issues about this....and some might. You know your dog better than anyone and can make the best decisions for her.

    I treat the couch the same way - allowed up by invitation, and must get off at my request. I've never had a problem...and my friends always thought it was so impressive!

    Last night, Bravo slept in his crate right next to me on the nightstand - he could see me, hear me, etc - in his own comfy space. He slept all through the night (I was surprised!). Later - once he's older and house-broken (and hubby's out of town) - we might have a slumber party!

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    Founding Member Chattles's Avatar
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    Re: Does your pap sleep in your bed?

    I've have dogs practically my entire life (only time without was after the loss of one. Sometimes replacements came quickly, other times a bit longer, for example Max came 9 months after the loss of my ****er spaniel) and our dogs have always been allowed on the bed & couch.

    My plan with Max was to, initially, train him to sleep in his own bed next to mine. I made this decision solely based on his size (just 3.7lbs) when he came home and I was afraid I would roll over and crush him!!! When he was bigger I had every intention of allowing him to sleep with me. But that very first night I was awakened by a noise and discovered it was 12 week old Max eating the wicker bed I selected for him. So up on the bed he came and he's been there ever since. I tried other beds, but once he was in my bed, he never took to any of the other beds. Like Nicole mentioned, often Max makes his way to the pillows

    Attachment 202

    Not once, with any of my dogs, have I experienced an aggression issue. That said, I did have a friend who experienced that problem.

    Hmmmm...why did my pic upload upside down????
    There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. ~Ben Williams

    Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. ~Roger Caras

    Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for s****s. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made. ~Roger Caras

    Happiness is a warm puppy. ~Charles M. Schulz

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    Senior Member Avec Bravissimo's Avatar
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    Re: Does your pap sleep in your bed?

    I'm willing to bet that being dominant in the bed is just one symptom of a bigger problem....I don't thinking sleeping in the bet makes them dominant or aggressive...but in some dogs it might send the message that "you are my peer."

    None of my Paps have had any aggression issues with people or house mates. Ever. And each of them could have slept in my bed with no issue what-so-ever.

    A different story:
    My cousin's Malamute (a breed that can want to be in charge) was purchased for him when his fiance died in a tragic house-fire. This dog was his comfort and solace in a difficult time. He did everything to keep that puppy/dog happy. Gave him everything. When the puppy growled, he backed off - not wanting to upset his puppy. He so wanted make him happy. There are a million examples...but he also allowed the dog to share his bed - and as the dog grew and took up more room - and the dog would protest when Ryan bumped him, Ryan backed off...eventually got a king-sized bed so the dog would not be "bumped." All the intentions were there...but no knowledge of the message he was sending. The dog ended up with TONS of issues - guarded everything...including it's own vomit when the cleaning lady tried to clean it up. 15 stitches later they realized they had a problem. Sleeping in bed didn't create the aggression in this dog...the problems were much more deep-seated and developed starting from puppy-hood. They had never owned a dog before...ever. Malamutes are great dogs in the right home - but they aren't for "softies" and first-time dog owners (in most cases).

    It was a sad situation...they spent thousands with dog trainers trying to un-do what they had done by accident, and in the end, the dog paid with its life as the behaviors were so ingrained by 7 years old. My cousin still can't talk about it - and he's a 38 year old ER physician now. Totally tragic.

    Ryan learned a lot. His next dog is a yellow lab....and has been raised totally differently - and now sleeps (by choice) right next to his wife's PILLOW or in their two year old son's room if he's cried in the night! Totally different approach...totally different dog. Totally different result. All of it with a dog sleeping in their bed, LOL!!!

  7. #7
    Founding Member Chattles's Avatar
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    Re: Does your pap sleep in your bed?

    Quote Originally Posted by Avec Bravissimo View Post
    I'm willing to bet that being dominant in the bed is just one symptom of a bigger problem
    Agreed. With the friend I mentioned above, the bed wasn't the only issue. They adopted their dog. Can't say what went on in the home, but they used the same trainer I did so I know they had a good education. (I ADORE my trainer!). Dog was fine in dog park with other dogs & people, but had serious issues at home, not just on the bed. I often saw the the trainer here working with them almost every weekend, but she never fully discussed the issues. Then all of a sudden she was missing from the dog park for days on end. Finally we all got an email explaining how bad things were (she had been embarrassed to let on how bad things were while they were happening). He was totally trying to dominate in the home. Between her and her husband they figured they were bitten about a dozen times. Her husband had taken to sleeping in the guest room, as if he didn't go to bed at the same time, dog wouldn't let him in the bed. The last straw came when one night she got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and the dog attacked her when she tried to get back into bed.

    Like your cousin they spent thousands of dollars on training and vet visits, anything to try to get to the bottom. But after that last attack they all (owners, trainer, vet) decided the dog had issues that couldn't be solved and he was, tragically, put down. The vet (also my vet) says sometimes the brain just isn't wired right.

    Not long after, and with the help of our trainer, the adopted another dog who is simply a dream!!!!
    There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. ~Ben Williams

    Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. ~Roger Caras

    Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for s****s. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made. ~Roger Caras

    Happiness is a warm puppy. ~Charles M. Schulz

  8. #8
    Senior Member Avec Bravissimo's Avatar
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    Re: Does your pap sleep in your bed?

    So many stories like that...I really think it's where the "no dogs in bed" thing comes from.

    I'm glad your friend had a good outcome, too.

  9. #9
    Founding Member naql's Avatar
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    Re: Does your pap sleep in your bed?

    Both of my girls sleep in my bed without any problems. I would say it is one of the benefits of owning small dogs. They can sleep with us and you don't have to worry about them pushing you out of the way or taking up too much space.

  10. #10
    Site Owner Ivvy's Avatar
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    Re: Does your pap sleep in your bed?

    I've noticed a dog will challenge you a few times. It can be on the bed it can be when they are chewing a bone, anything but it will be a challenge of dominance. Every dog I've ever owned or fostered has done it. If you are able to identify that challenge and put the dog in their place they will usually never challenge you again. Also just because they challenged you and you won and also won their respect doesn't mean they won't challenge every member that lives in your house.
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